I have a little girl
who is usually the last one picked up by her mother from my preschool classroom
on the days that she attends. I have been able to observe many conversations
between the mother and her daughter. The
time that she is picked up is when are outside for afternoon play near the end
of the day. When Mom comes picks her up she is “not ready to leave.” Today is a little different because Mom has
an appointment and needs to leave right away.
Mom usually
doesn’t get upset but talks to her and gives her the reason why they have to
go. The little girl always says that she has to finish something first before
she leaves and the mother sits down to wait.
They continue to have two-way conversations with each other while the
child continues with whatever activity she is doing at the time. Today the mom
promises the little girl a treat if she leaves right now. The little girl is
not giving in to Mom, and so the Mom gets a little upset. She starts to talk
about taking away some of the little girl’s treats and this make the child
angry. She starts to pout and cry. Mom
gets down on the daughter’s level, holds her hand and says she is sorry that she
got upset, but they have to leave. She grabs her hand and leads her to the
door. The child did not have a chance to respond or ask any questions why. I
say “see you tomorrow”, but he child does not respond.
In my
opinion, I do not think it is good to use rewards or promise punishment to get
children to do what you want them to do. It may have been better to talk with
the child before school and let them know that you will be picking up early
today because you have an appointment. This way the child would be prepared and
know that they are leaving early. Ending a good time is hard enough. It should
not be a process that is filled with ultimatums or false promises and never happens
on a regular day when the Mom does not have an appointment.
Children do
not react very well if parents have strong reactions and will tune you out if
you appear angry or defensive. We have to remember to have sensitivity and
respect when communicating with children (Laureate Education, 2011). The child probably received mixed
messages because on other days she is allowed to finish her activity and hold
conversations with her Mom.. Her feeling may have been hurt and she responded
by pouting and crying to attempt to get her way.
As educators, we play a role in
helping children learn to communicate with others. The choice of the words that
we use with children is important. We listen with interest and respond in ways
that will build conversations, and allow children time to formulate their ideas
and answers(Rainer, & Durden, 2010). I think about the earlier times I may have limited children’s
conversations by limiting their choices or cutting off communications
especially during transition times. I
try to communicate with the children positively and reassure them that what
they have to say is important. I may not be able to listen right now, but I
will at the first opportunity available.
References
Laureate Education, Inc. (2011).
Strategies for working with diverse children: Communicating with young
children. Baltimore, MD: Author
Rainer Dangei, J., & Durden,
T. R. (2010). The nature of teacher talk during small group activities. YC:
Young Children, 65(1), 74-81. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the
Education Research Complete database
Hi Anita,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your blog post but I do believe in positive reinforcement. I feel it encourages children to try their best at any task however, I never reward bad behavior but if a child is doing well, completing assignments and not invoking fights as many of my students do, there will be no reward at the ending of the week.
Yvonne
Thank you Yvonne for your input and your point about using positive reinforcement.
DeleteHello Anita, enjoyed reading
DeleteObserving our children at home or in a school setting is very important. There a times when patents do not pay attention to their children and things happen. Communication is essential for all this to come full circle; it just help us to understanding each child individually, to plan events and activities around what they do and what they have learned. Kolbeck (Self-expression), “Sensitivity, respect, acceptance, reflective listening, and providing the space for each child to be her unique self (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).” Children pay attention to what we do, how we do it, what we say, and how we say it, they interpret in their own little mind dictionary. Their dictionary can become confusing for them sometimes; this is because they have yet to learn and understand the ways in which their lives have or will have in the world around them.
Kolbeck (Self-expression), “My first job is to help children communicate with each other. And to do that, they have to feel listened to and seen (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).” Children like it when they are being paid attention too, some more than others. They have questions about things that they hear for the most part and from what they see are something being said is the going one. I think we sometimes do not know to the fullest extent of how our children’s minds work; for one you think they are too little, two, parents do not pay attention when they are talking and their children are listening and if they do they will tell them to go to their room are yell at them. This is how our children learn first- hand and this is what they bring to the school setting and into the classrooms. As Educators it is our responsibilities to make them feel first safe and security in their surroundings, we must then have inclusions of all cultural things, families, their backgrounds and more, that will start them on their way to understanding diversity.
References
Laureate Education, Inc. (2011). Strategies for working with diverse children: Communicating with young children. Baltimore, MD: Author
Anita,
ReplyDeleteObserving the child and communicating effectively is important as educators to make sure the child feels safe and secure in our care.
I agree with you parents should not reward children for inappropriate behavior. I feel the mom should have told the child that morning that when she picks her up she has business to handle and have to leave right away. This would have prepared the child and the child would have known that when her mom picked her up she would have to leave. This is when effective communication comes into play not only for the teacher but for the parent as well.
Hi Anita,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your observation, and I believe this type of interaction happens on a regulara basis with children and adults. I believe we do have to have an effective way to communicate with our children, that they understand to how to communicate thier feeling, yet understand authority. It can become frustrating and easy to give in, when you are trying to get a child to do what is ask. Children learning and growing, so these interaction are helping to shape their view, thus as adults we must responsed effectively.