I have a little girl
who is usually the last one picked up by her mother from my preschool classroom
on the days that she attends. I have been able to observe many conversations
between the mother and her daughter. The
time that she is picked up is when are outside for afternoon play near the end
of the day. When Mom comes picks her up she is “not ready to leave.” Today is a little different because Mom has
an appointment and needs to leave right away.
Mom usually
doesn’t get upset but talks to her and gives her the reason why they have to
go. The little girl always says that she has to finish something first before
she leaves and the mother sits down to wait.
They continue to have two-way conversations with each other while the
child continues with whatever activity she is doing at the time. Today the mom
promises the little girl a treat if she leaves right now. The little girl is
not giving in to Mom, and so the Mom gets a little upset. She starts to talk
about taking away some of the little girl’s treats and this make the child
angry. She starts to pout and cry. Mom
gets down on the daughter’s level, holds her hand and says she is sorry that she
got upset, but they have to leave. She grabs her hand and leads her to the
door. The child did not have a chance to respond or ask any questions why. I
say “see you tomorrow”, but he child does not respond.
In my
opinion, I do not think it is good to use rewards or promise punishment to get
children to do what you want them to do. It may have been better to talk with
the child before school and let them know that you will be picking up early
today because you have an appointment. This way the child would be prepared and
know that they are leaving early. Ending a good time is hard enough. It should
not be a process that is filled with ultimatums or false promises and never happens
on a regular day when the Mom does not have an appointment.
Children do
not react very well if parents have strong reactions and will tune you out if
you appear angry or defensive. We have to remember to have sensitivity and
respect when communicating with children (Laureate Education, 2011). The child probably received mixed
messages because on other days she is allowed to finish her activity and hold
conversations with her Mom.. Her feeling may have been hurt and she responded
by pouting and crying to attempt to get her way.
As educators, we play a role in
helping children learn to communicate with others. The choice of the words that
we use with children is important. We listen with interest and respond in ways
that will build conversations, and allow children time to formulate their ideas
and answers(Rainer, & Durden, 2010). I think about the earlier times I may have limited children’s
conversations by limiting their choices or cutting off communications
especially during transition times. I
try to communicate with the children positively and reassure them that what
they have to say is important. I may not be able to listen right now, but I
will at the first opportunity available.
References
Laureate Education, Inc. (2011).
Strategies for working with diverse children: Communicating with young
children. Baltimore, MD: Author
Rainer Dangei, J., & Durden,
T. R. (2010). The nature of teacher talk during small group activities. YC:
Young Children, 65(1), 74-81. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the
Education Research Complete database
