I
teach preschool at a community college. There was a little girl in my preschool
classroom who was very talkative. She
loved to greet every parent that comes into the room. All the parents love her because she is
always asking questions that were off the wall. She is five years old now and
has established a very big vocabulary. One day a parent came in as she was
getting ready to leave for the day with her mother. The parent is a little bit on the heavy side
and had on a tee shirt that was a little
small and every time she moved you could see her stomach... She did it a couple of time and one time the
little girl said you have a fat stomach. The little girl’s mother did not like
what the little girl said to the parent. She started scolding her immediately
and said that we do not talk to grown ups like that. That's not very nice to say...say that you
are sorry. The little girl looked at her and didn’t say anything. The mother
started counting 1... 2... 3. . She took the little girl out in the hallway and
returned two minutes later.. The girl was crying and said sorry to the parent.
The mother told the parent she was sorry that her daughter said
she had a fat stomach and that she didn't tolerate that from her children.
When children are in these type situations they may become scared or intimidated because they were scolded. She may feel that it is not okay to say anything about the way a person looks. They may be afraid to talk with adults because it can get you in a lot of trouble. Children may also feel that they cannot be honest and say or express their feeling. Most of the time when young children act up or misbehavior it isn't something that requires yelling or punishing but, instead, some understanding and a frank parent-child discussion.
First and foremost we don’t tell parents how to discipline their children. One of the most common mistakes parents may make when disciplining children are speaking in a harsh and angry tone, or even insulting their children. Giving and asking for respect in return is one of the important to remember when it comes to disciplining children(Don't Shame Children In Pursuit Of Discipline, n. d).
As an early childhood teacher I would have talked to the child and explained how some people have different body shapes and sizes. The child might not realize that what she said may be hurtful to the other person. Instead of yelling and causing the child to feel bad, I would have pulled them to the side or away from the other children. We get down on children's level and talk to them directly instead of raising my voice. We provide positive guidance and redirection to correct inappropriate behavior.( Derman-Sparks, & Olsen Edwards, 2010).
First and foremost we don’t tell parents how to discipline their children. One of the most common mistakes parents may make when disciplining children are speaking in a harsh and angry tone, or even insulting their children. Giving and asking for respect in return is one of the important to remember when it comes to disciplining children(Don't Shame Children In Pursuit Of Discipline, n. d).
As an early childhood teacher I would have talked to the child and explained how some people have different body shapes and sizes. The child might not realize that what she said may be hurtful to the other person. Instead of yelling and causing the child to feel bad, I would have pulled them to the side or away from the other children. We get down on children's level and talk to them directly instead of raising my voice. We provide positive guidance and redirection to correct inappropriate behavior.( Derman-Sparks, & Olsen Edwards, 2010).
References
Derman-Sparks,
L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC
Don't Shame Children In Pursuit Of Discipline.
(n.d.). Retrieved August 06, 2016, from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/our-gender-ourselves/201304/dont-shame-children-in-pursuit-discipline
Hello Anita, enjoyed reading,
ReplyDelete“The NCCA (2005) produced guidelines called Intercultural Education in the Primary School to support teachers in enabling children to respect and celebrate diversity, to promote equality, and to challenge unfair discrimination (French, 2007).” For one as an educator, we know that our early learning children do not understand sometimes the words that they choice to use in describing what they see. What they see is how they word things. They do not know yet that these are bias words that hurt other people until they have said them and are scolded for it. Our process should begin with the choice to implement what inclusions to include as we create our classroom environment, developing our curriculums.
As educators, we need to expand and focus on the materials we choice, the themes that will reflect our children’s learning process within the classrooms. “We expand our focus to include people with whom the children will come in contact, and others about whom they will develop ideas and attitudes, even though they may never actually meet (Laureate Education, 2009).” Just as the child you talked about in your story, children mean no harm, they just say things that the feel. There is a way in doing everything and the child should not have been made to feel hurtful, as well as the parent did need an apology as she got, but she should have helped the child to understand the bad in the way she said what she said. Parents know that their children say things out of context, even their own.
When children say something inappropriate, they do not understand the bias language. As educators and parents, we have to approach situation such as the fat stomach, in a calmer way so that the child wants feel ashamed. Children always react to what they see, hear, and think about a certain situation. We have to continually increase our knowledge by inserting inclusions that tell a story of all cultures; through flash cards, videos, pictures, books, the clothes they aware, the food they eat, the language they speak, and yes, the way they look; all the things that children do not think about when they speak. “The best pictures are those that encourage children to make comparisons in which they find differences, and make connections between themselves and the people in the images through something that is familiar, like playing on swings (Laureate Education, 2009).”
References
French, G. (2007). Children’s early learning and development. Retrieved from: http://www.ncca.ie/en/Curriculum_and_Assessment/Early_Childhood_and_Primary_Education/Early_Childhood_Education/How_Aistear_was_developed/Research_Papers/Childrens_learning_and_dev.pdf
Video: Laureate Education (Producer). (n.d.). Start seeing diversity: Conclusion [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu https://cdnfiles.laureate.net/2dett4d/managed/WAL/EDUC/6357/06/WAL_EDUC6357_06_B_EN.pdf
Hi Anita,
ReplyDeleteI was born with a clubbed hand shorter than the other one. When raising my children, they often got into fights at school because of children making fun of me. i decided one day to put an end to all of this by going to my child's school and standing before the class and literally gave a speech about my disability. It was actually pretty funny because I cracked jokes and make the children feel comfortable to ask questions instead of making fun of people differences. To this day, as a kindergarten teacher, I give the first day speech making children aware of my disability and its okay to be different. I'm happy to say, I never had that problem again.
Yvonne
Hi Anita
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for your post. Before this course I think I am someone who would have not known how to respond to what the little girl had said. But I am glad that Derman-Sparks talks about teachable moments. "Like their simple questions, these incidents are teachable moments for anti-bias education. But they almost always require more than a simple answer." (Derman-Sparks. 2010). As difficult as it is I would have used this opportunity to explain to the children about being polite to people and about the things we do not say.
Sorry I did not reference.
ReplyDeleteReference
Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC
Anita,
ReplyDeleteAt your center do you offer classes for parents, and could you offer one on discipline techniques. I know we were trying to start hosting parenting classes at the last center that I worked at. When I conferenced with parents, we also worked on different ways to work with children at home. There are parents who do not understand how to deal with these types of interactions and need help on how to approach them. I know I have taken many classes on how to interact with children, so why do we not offer that same opportunity for parents?