Last year, I had a disagreement with a fellow teacher from another preschool classroom over something that she did which disrupted my class. We have outside time every morning for one hour, and each preschool classroom goes outside one class at a time. The teacher from the other classroom, when she was outside, would sometimes open the door and yell into the classroom if she needed some assistance. We could see and hear if she opened up the door and we preferred to come to the door to see what she needed instead of her yelling. What made me upset was that the previous year the same teacher was upset that someone was yelling into her room and asked them not to do it anymore, but she was doing the exact thing. It seems rather small, but small disputes turned into a big argument. We kept interrupting each other as we were speaking and didn't hear what the other was trying to say.
The situation escalated, and we had to go inside another room so that the children would not see us arguing. One of the administrators who is not our immediate supervisor tried to mediate the situation but was unsuccessful because we would not let each other get our points across without interrupting. She let us know that she would let our immediate supervisor know about the situation.
Later that day a meeting was set up with our immediate supervisor and us. We had a chance to talk about the incident without us interrupting each other with our supervisor and the administrator who was present during the argument. The whole situation resulted from us not communicating with each other and letting the other know if there were some things that we disliked.
We both look back on it now and agree that communication makes a difference. The other preschool teacher didn't know that we didn't like yelling into the classroom. We also agree that in situations that get out of hand we may need to walk away, cool down and then talk respectively to each other about the issue. We haven't had any problems since that incident.
Two strategies to manage or resolve conflicts more productively.
Compromise: Do
not look at situation as a competition, where one has to win and one has to
lose. Work toward a solution where both parties can have some of their needs
met.
Listen without interrupting; ask questions if needed to assure a clear understanding of
the issue. Make sure that you focus on the issue and not your position about the issue.
Anita
References:
O'Hair,
D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.
(2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Hi Anita,
ReplyDeleteTo often it is expressed that something small can result into something BIG, however, communication is needed in any relationship whether it is personal, professional, or perhaps a simply conversation. It is better that we learn from each other therefore the same mistake would not be repeated. Thanks for sharing and enlighten great points for me to ponder on.
Sheliah
Anita,
ReplyDeleteI would say that we all find conflict that are little things and we never really think how silly the conflict was until we look back on it. Communication is very important and I have always been taught that we have to listen to the other person even though sometimes we just want to do it our way and there are times where we all just think we are right and don't want to hear the other person's point of view. But we have to listen to each other to better our team when it comes to a professional situation and there are times where we have to compromise with each other. If we listen to each other we can learn more and work together as a team like were supposed to do.
Hi Anita
ReplyDeleteI do agree with the two strategies that you mentioned to resolve the dispute that you had with your colleague. So many times when we are in an argument we want to be heard and we want to score the most points. In any given situation it is important that we compromise and listen before we can open our mouth to say something.
Thank you very much for your post.
Hi Anita,
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how something that seems so small can turn into something larger. I myself sometimes have to remember to talk to someone at the beginning of the problem because the laonger I ignore it the worse it is.