The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

                                                             

A couple of years ago my grandson was getting baptized. I needed to take a baptism class because my son and his wife also wanted me to be the godparent.I was unable to schedule it at their church so I signed up for a baptism class at my church and attended the class. When I completed the class, I needed a written acknowledgement that I had participated in the class. The religious director refused to give me the statement after the fact when she found out the church was one that let people who have been divorced, remarry. I said what does that had to do with me taking the class.  I didn’t feel it was her business where the baptism was held but in fact, I told her the name of the church in the beginning. She said that the church would refund my fee that I paid. I told her to keep the money and donate it to a worthy cause for the children.

It diminished fairness because other people who were taking the class were not subject to the same scrutiny.  They made a decision because of where my grandson was getting baptized which wasn’t the main issue. The issue was that I took the class and deserved written acknowledgment that I attended. In the end I never receive an apology but instead an explanation of course, and it still weighs heavy on my mind when I think about it.

I was quite angry and offended by the fact that first she said that my grandson’s baptism would not be recognized and second because she would rather give my money back and lie about me taking the class. It made me start having negative thoughts.  I wondered if she would have said this to anyone one else because where I attend church there is only a small amount of African Americans who attend? I think back to my childhood and reflect that this person would have had a hard time relaying that message to people in my neighborhood because children who were getting baptized had certain situations that didn’t entirely agree with church doctrine. I think that she could have handled it different ways instead of making me feel that what I was doing was unacceptable. What made me angry was that there were others who were attending the class as stand- in for people who could not attend, and they got their letters

     

   

I think that it order to change  people will have to educate themselves and be more open to the different religious affiliations in the world today. A lot of religions have the same beliefs but use different ceremonies for various occasions. I would have liked to, at least, had the opportunity to talk about the situation and come up with a  solution. This person took it upon themselves to judge and render a decision based on her bias.

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

           After observing and listening to people talk this week I was surprised to find many microaggressions that occur every day in our lives. One of the ones that I get all the time is when I am making medical appointments over the phone in the military system they always say” what is your sponsor's social security number.”. I always say “ I am the sponsor.” I think to myself why do they always ask me for my sponsor …. .not all military retirees are men…. .

One microaggression that stuck with me this week had to do with hair.  I was at a gathering this week where they were selling beauty, hair,  and skin products. There were several women there of different ethnicities.  A young black woman was sitting in the group with us, and she had some pretty thick braids. One of the women asked her "is that your real hair." When I heard the woman ask this question, the first thing I thought to myself is why does everyone think that just because a black women has long hair that it is a weave or not real. I always hear comments about how black women are wearing their hair in today’s society. I didn't know the word “microaggression” or its meaning until this week, so I didn't think twice about it at the time. It brought to my mind another situation that happened. A few weeks ago I remembered a person asking another if a person’s appearance was “professional” and now I automatically know she was talking about her hair because the woman had dreadlocks.   If black women wear their hair in a naturally, they are often chastised about it looking unprofessional or unkempt.

Discrimination, prejudice and stereotyping people can create feelings of shame, anger, and sadness in victims. Everyone harbors some form of prejudice and discrimination whether it is intentional or unintentional. It’s when you act of on those feeling when the trouble begins.  Respect others and treat them the way you would want to be treated.